i can play guitar.
sometimes i believe its not a miracle at all-that life would be so much easier if i didn’t know. if i didn’t know, i wouldn’t be stuttering, if i didn’t know i would forget how to speak, if i didn’t know, i wouldn’t mix up my words, but most of all, if i didn’t know, i wouldn’t be having such a hard time learning.
the massive increase of blood flow was supposed to make me smarter.. it was supposed to make college easier. it hasn’t. how is getting easily confused making things easier? how is relearning and confusing what i already know, me being smarter? its because i am not. i have thrown back 3 years, instead of keeping up.
my writing has changed, my life has changed, and my mind is forever changed. how could this ever have been a good idea?
maybe i was meant to live for a short while but have more meaningful life for a shorter amount of time? who is to say i was meant to be saved.